How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

All of us occasionally receive social invitations that we don't want to accept.

How do we cope turning down these invitations without hurting or insulting the someone who invited us?

Writing Wedding Thank You Cards

If you are turning down an invitation, first be very clear in your own mind either you are turning down the particular event, the someone who issued the invitation, or both.

How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

Teresa's Matillaja Poppies -- Set of 12 Note Cards Best

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Teresa's Matillaja Poppies -- Set of 12 Note Cards Feature

• Beautiful watercolor of cut blooms of the Matillaja (Matilija) Poppy. Native to southern California it is known for its large white flowers with intense yellow centers, causing it sometimes to be known as the fried egg plant. They are very beautiful.
• These note cards are perfect not only for writing short letters or notes but for all your note and greeting card needs from thinking of you and thank you cards to birthday, congratulations, get well and wedding and anniversary cards.

Teresa's Matillaja Poppies -- Set of 12 Note Cards Overview

This 5 x 7 note card has been reproduced from an original watercolor painting, Teresa's Matillaja Poppies, by artist Sharon E. Rawlins. Set of 12, envelopes included. Beautiful watercolor of cut blooms of the Matillaja (Matilija) Poppy. Native to southern California it is known for its large white flowers with intense yellow centers, causing it sometimes to be known as the fried egg plant. They are very beautiful. These note cards are perfect not only for writing short letters or notes but for all your note and greeting card needs from thinking of you and thank you cards to birthday, congratulations, get well and wedding and anniversary cards.

Customer Reviews

*** Product Information and Prices Stored: Jan 25, 2012 10:20:45

Sometimes we would like to accept the invitation, but we have a old commitment that conflicts with the timing of the event.

Sometimes we want to attend the event to which we have been invited, but we don't want to go with the particular someone who asked us. Sometimes we want to go out with that person, but we don't want to attend that particular event.

If the only think that you are turning down the invitation is because it conflicts with your schedule, make this very clear in your reply, and if it is feasible, advise an alternative that works better for you.

You can say something like, "Greg, I would love to see that new movie with you, but unfortunately, I'm already scheduled to do something else on the 29th. Would someone else evening next week work for you?"

This reply makes it very clear to Greg that his invitation is appreciated and someone else date is being suggested instead. If Greg had plainly received a "no" to his request, he would not know either it was the time period that was being turned down, the activity, or himself.

If you of course want to go out with Greg, and you are ready that particular evening, but you want to turn down the invitation because you don't want to see the movie he has selected, you can say, "I'd of course love to go to a movie with you next Saturday, however, I don't like war movies. I prefer comedies. Is there someone else movie you would like to see with me that night, or perhaps on a dissimilar evening?"

This reply makes it clear you don't like the particular movie selection, but everything else about the invitation is fine with you.

What if you don't of course want to go out with Greg because, although you like war movies, and you are ready on the 29th, you don't want to go out with him?

Most likely you don't want to hurt or insult him, but you also don't want to be pressured to go out with him.

If you don't want to accept, you can plainly say, "Thanks for the invitation but I'm already looking someone," or, "Thank you but I'm not interested in going out at the gift time".

You do not need to elucidate yourself, or your reasons. If the other someone starts to ask you badgering questions, or becomes abusive, be as polite as you wish, but leave immediately.

Sometimes we receive ambiguous invitations when we aren't of course clear either the invitation is meant as a romantic date, or if the other someone is plainly suggesting a shared performance with you as a friend.

In such a case, it's best to ask the other someone outright.

Although it can be embarrassing to ask the other someone to elucidate his or her intentions, it will be even more embarrassing if you make an assumption about the evening that turns out to be wrong.

Sometimes we would accept the invitation if it meant that it was a romantic date, but we would turn it down if the other someone only wanted to be "friends", and sometimes we are the one who only wants to be "friends" and we want to avoid a romantic entanglement.

In such a case we need to know exactly what is being offered before we settle either to accept the invitation or to turn it down.

How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully